As we've seen already in our studies in 2 Timothy, Paul is suffering. He's in prison because of God's call on his life – to be a preacher, apostle and teacher of the gospel. He's suffering in a way that he wouldn't have, if God had left him alone and let him follow his own inclinations. Remember that Paul had been a successful Pharisee; he was trained by Gamaliel, a very prominent Rabbi; he had a good career. He had gone beyond many of his contemporaries and was an up-and-coming leader. He was held in high esteem. But now he's in prison.
I suspect, at times, that he's felt the temptation to be disappointed in God. Is this the way God cares for His servants? Once, when St. Theresa of Avila was on a journey, she was sick and one thing after another had gone wrong. Finally, she reached the end of her rope and cried out: "‘Lord, amid so many ills this comes on top of all the rest!' The voice answered her: ‘That is how I treat my friends.'" And then she replied: "Ah my God! That is why you have so few of them!" (quoted by Martin Thornton, in Christian Proficiency, p. 95). I suspect Paul has felt the same temptation. Why isn't God taking better care of him? Why is he wasting away in prison when he could be doing so much good on the outside?
These two things are often difficult to reconcile: God cares for us and has promised to provide for our needs; and God very often doesn't do what we want Him to do, or even what we think we need. I often think about Mary, having to travel to Bethlehem at the end of her pregnancy (without the comfort of modern transportation). I suspect she was tempted to ask: "why now? Couldn't this trip have been made earlier, when I wasn't ready to deliver my baby?" And then, arriving in Bethlehem and being turned down by one place after another. How did she feel when they finally had to settle for a stable? She had experienced, in her body, the most extraordinary miracle in the history of the world. Surely God was with her; she was carrying the Second Person of the Trinity in her womb. So why didn't He provide a better place for her to give birth?
Paul is suffering as he writes 2 Timothy, and it will become apparent later in the letter that he is near the end of his life. He's soon going to be executed by the Roman government, this man who not too many years before had been a gifted, promising young Pharisee. But he doesn't say, "oh no, I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere; there must be some mistake." He says: "For this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher, and for this reason I suffer as I do." His suffering is a direct result of his faithfulness to God's call. And he goes on: "But I am not ashamed, for I know the one in whom I have put my trust...." His suffering is not a cause for shame, because he knows God and is confident that He will be faithful, that God will care for him until he arrives safely in the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever may be going on in our lives right now, God will not disappoint us in the end. He is faithful and powerful, and we can trust Him to care for us.
Notice, first, that Paul's life has been completely rearranged by God's call. He didn't choose his career as an apostle by weighing his options and deciding on the most promising profession. He had already chosen his profession in becoming a Pharisee, but then God had interrupted his plans. Jesus had appeared to him on the road to Damascus, where he was going to arrest Christians, and he had been temporarily blinded. Then Ananias, a believer in Damascus, had been sent to pray for him to receive his sight back. This is what the Lord said to Ananias: "Go, for he is an instrument whom I have chosen to bring my name before Gentiles and kings and before the people of Israel; I myself will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name" (Acts 9:15-16). Jesus didn't sit down and make a deal with Paul. He called him: "he is an instrument whom I have chosen." Because of who He is, He has the right to interrupt our plans and rearrange our lives.
Think about this in the light of how we often promote our churches: "We've got what you are looking for, come get it" (quoted by William H. Willimon, "It's Hard to be Seeker-Sensitive When You Work for Jesus"). I want to say, when I hear this sort of thing, "are you sure?" Is this what Paul was looking for: "I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name"? The gospel is unspeakably precious, but not because it gives us what we're looking for. We're often looking for the wrong things anyway. The gospel isn't just an offer, like other offers we receive in the marketplace. The gospel is God's call, and His provision, for us to be reconciled to Him. And in responding to the gospel's offer of grace and mercy, we also accept God's call on our lives, the God who has the right to interrupt all our carefully laid plans, the God who often redirects our lives in ways we never would have planned for ourselves.
Mary was chosen to give birth to the Son of God, and she responded to God's call with faith and submission: "Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to your word." The immediate result was that she was suspected of adultery, and her husband-to-be was ready to divorce her. He was restrained by a direct revelation, when God spoke to him in a dream, but in the meantime don't you think this was a painful experience for Mary? Who would have believed her story? And then, even after Joseph was convinced, what about the others who knew? They still thought she had been guilty of unfaithfulness.
Mary's life, like Paul's, was completely rearranged by God's call. No doubt, at first, she thought she was giving birth to the One who was going to deliver the nation from Roman rule. But it hadn't turned out that way. In addition to being widowed at a fairly early age (Joseph is not around any more during Jesus' public ministry), she had to watch her Son, who had been born miraculously to her as a virgin, be rejected by the nation and then suffer a horrible death. It's easy to read these stories year after year and lose sight of the fact that these people had to live through these experiences by faith, without knowing how it was all going to turn out. In responding to the gospel's offer of grace and mercy, we also accept God's call on our lives, the God who has the right to interrupt all our carefully laid plans, the God who often redirects our lives in ways we never would have planned for ourselves.
Notice, second, that there's a direct connection between Paul's obedience and his suffering. We don't want to lose sight of this, because suffering too easily takes us by surprise and throws us into confusion. We naturally wonder what we've done wrong to end up in this condition. Is God displeased with us? Is He punishing us? Have we taken a wrong turn somewhere? Peter knew of this danger, so he wrote these words to Christians who were suffering: "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that is taking place among you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you are sharing Christ's sufferings, so that you may also be glad and shout for joy when his glory is revealed" (1 Peter 4:12-13).
Suffering is not just something that we bear with because it's inevitable. Because Jesus suffered, suffering can be redemptive. Because we are united with Jesus as part of His body, He invites us to enter into communion with Him in His suffering on behalf of the Church. Paul says: "I am now rejoicing in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am completing what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church" (Colossians 1:24).
In this society, that sees suffering as an unmitigated evil, something that should be avoided at all costs (even to the extent of forcing doctors to give a lethal injection to those who are in great pain), we need to remind ourselves of this. Pope John Paul II, in the last years of his life, saw suffering as part of his vocation, part of his calling as the universal pastor of the Catholic Church. He had been a physically strong person. He loved the outdoors and worked at a pace that exhausted those around him. But then his health had begun to decline. He was in constant pain, and Parkinson's disease made his body uncooperative. I suspect most of us would have concluded that it was time to retire and let someone else take over. But he believed that he was called to follow Jesus in the way of the cross, and he has provided us with a great example of patience and grace in direct contrast to this society that wants to flee suffering at all costs. There was a direct connection between obedience and suffering for the apostle Paul, and also for Pope John Paul II; we need to know that this can also be the case for us.
The third thing is that Paul isn't disappointed in God because he understands that God's focus is larger than the present moment; God is at work preparing him for the life of eternity: "But I am not ashamed, for I know the one in whom I have put my trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard until that day what I have entrusted to him." Paul isn't disappointed in God's care for him, first of all because he knows God. It's not just that he knows certain things about God. That would be helpful, but it wouldn't be enough. Paul is saying I know Him: "I know the one in whom I have put my trust." The KJV and NIV read, "I know whom I have believed," but the NRSV is probably clearer in this context: "I know the one in whom I have put my trust." Paul has not only believed in the truth, he has placed his trust in God. Because he both knows the truth about God and also knows Him, Paul is confident: "I am sure [or, I am convinced] that he is able, that He has all the power necessary to care for me until that day when I arrive safely in His presence."
In looking beyond the present moment, Paul is following Jesus. The author of Hebrews is writing to Christians who are suffering for the gospel, but they've grown weary. They've lost their sense of perspective and are being severely tempted to turn back. So he reminds them, in chapter 11, of all the great saints in the past who've suffered in the path of obedience, and then, at the beginning of chapter 12, he says: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you may not grow weary or lose heart" (12:1-3). Jesus disregarded the shame of the cross, because He was looking ahead to what lay on the other side of the crucifixion.
These things are true, not only for people like the apostle Paul; they're also true for us. Suffering is part of this life, for Christians as well as non-Christians. But there's also suffering that comes to us because we belong to Jesus Christ and because we're committed to following Him. Much that's in the New Testament is written to encourage believers who were suffering for the gospel. These verses can help prepare us to endure suffering as disciples of Jesus Christ, rather than becoming bitter and disillusioned. We'd do well to meditate on these three things: 1) Our lives are not our own. We've been bought with a price, and God has the right to rearrange our lives according to His purposes. When we see what God has done for us, the natural response is to offer ourselves to Him in gratitude. 2) There is often a direct connection between obedience and suffering. When we draw back from the path of obedience because we see that it might lead to suffering, we're endangering our souls and the souls of those around us. We're refusing to follow Jesus in the way of the cross; we're saying, in effect, "I'm glad you suffered for us, but you're asking too much if you expect me to suffer for you." 3) God is looking beyond this present moment, preparing us for the life of eternity. If we know Him and are continuing to cultivate His presence, we'll be better able to trust Him when things are going wrong in our lives. He has indescribably good things planned for us and is going to wipe away all the tears from our eyes, and the sorrows of this life will be a thing of the past.
About 50-60 years after Paul wrote this letter, Ignatius, Bishop of Antioch, was on his way to Rome to be executed. He wrote seven letters on his journey, some of the earliest Christian writings outside the New Testament. Here's something he wrote to the church in Rome, anticipating his arrival there: "From Syria all the way to Rome I am fighting with wild beasts, on land and sea, by night and day, chained amidst ten leopards (that is, a company of soldiers) who only get worse when they are well treated. Yet because of their mistreatment I am becoming more of a disciple.... Fire and cross and battles with wild beasts, mutilation, mangling, wrenching of bones, the hacking of limbs, the crushing of my whole body, cruel tortures of the devil – let these come upon me, only let me reach Jesus Christ! Neither the ends of the earth nor the kingdoms of this age are of any use to me. It is better for me to die for Jesus Christ than to rule over the ends of the earth. Him I seek, who died on our behalf; him I long for, who rose again for our sake" ("The Letters of Ignatius," Romans 5-6). May God give us grace, whatever happens in our lives, to say: "It is better for me to die for Jesus Christ than to rule over the ends of the earth. Him I seek, who died on our behalf; him I long for, who rose again for our sake." If we know God and are seeking to live under His lordship, He'll enable us to say with Paul: "But I am not ashamed, for I know the one in whom I have put my trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard until that day what I have entrusted to him."
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